Good Morning Miss Undercover Chapter 2

I shed off depression I felt just a moment ago. To confirm my hypothesis, I have once again leaned against the wall like a lizard and with difficulty crawled for few meters to stand beside him with my eyes wide-opened.

Clearly it wasn’t  Deng Long. Compared to him, he was more worth seeing.

He was as handsome as his suit.

Unfortunately, he was not a kind-hearted type. Generally speaking, the men that show up in this horrible place can be basically divided into two categories. The first category was a person, the second not.

Anyway, they were all not humans. This person before my eyes shouldn’t be an exception.

I was so cold I shivered. My stomach was restless with anxiety. My body was still shaking, yet this fair and stern man used that expression of disdain to lean his head and measure me without batting an eyelid. The noble air that surrounded him cause me to appear even more wretched.

As well as frivolous.

I admit that I wasn’t used to being taken advantage of. Yet, I took pleasure in taking advantage of other people. Hence, I conjured up  a smile, patted his shoulder and said, “Hey, (burp)” I burped, “Take off your clothes or else I will beat you up.”

“Oh?” The man was a little bit surprised. He lifted his perfectly shaped eyebrows, his voice deep and pleasant – it had a very resonant feeling.

Right now, fragments of light projected his outstanding facial features. Under the effect of the light, his whole face appeared gentle yet refined, refined yet harsh. I instantly looked like a silly and it made my frivolousness to abruptly escalate even more. I wiped away my saliva and leaned close against him. My hand swiftly grasped his chin. I generously appreciated, “Compared to that old tree bark from earlier, you are truly a stunner.”

I have to admit. After getting drunk, I was very honest as well as ill-behaved.

As expected, this man frowned. He lightly pushed away my hand that was taking advantage of him and coldly pulled back, “Miss, please behave with a dignity.”

“I am already a hostess here, how can I still behave with a dignity?” I apologetically smiled, “As a child, uncle Alan educated me, if I encounter stunners I shall molest them. Encountering one molesting one, encountering two molesting two.”

“What’s your name?“ the beautiful man’s calm face contained a faint anger. Apparently, he wanted to expose my background – convenient for him to strike and retaliate someday in the future.

He wanted to investigate my household registrar, right? I wanted to laugh even more. My, Fang Liang Liang’s, bowl of meal is exactly interrogating criminals[1]. As a result, I burped again. Toying with my wig, my body simultaneously swayed and faced him. I threw him daring coquettish glances, “Can’t you see? My surname is Cai, name Huazei. Cai Huazei[2]. Handsome, did you keep it in mind?”

“You sure have guts,” The beautiful man’s sharp eyes looked at me, an anger that stemmed from humiliation engaged in them.

Gee, interesting.

“Extremely daring, right? It’s because I’m drunken.(burp),” another unpleasant burping, „Do you know what I’m going to do next?”

The beautiful man pursed his lips. He didn’t speak. Perhaps, he was afraid of his chastity.

“Don’t worry. I am just looking for you…..telling[3]. Do you understand telling? It’s a heart-to-heart chat.” My legs were weak, I was almost unable to remain steady. I looked around. Hanging on his shoulder, I said very seriously, “Yesterday I had a dream. Do you know what I was doing in my dream?”

The beautiful man wasn’t cooperating at all. He continued to use a weird speculating expression to look at me. Watching the reflection of myself inside his black pupils, I had a kind of coming from Pandora[4] feeling.

Earth inhabitant didn’t cooperate, so I had to ask and answer myself.

“Let me tell you, inside the dream I was…….a superwoman. For people to live in peace and work happily, I vandalized, stole, burnt and committed any imaginable misdeed. One night, my boss entrusted me with a dream. He told me that today I will meet my nemesis. Very very powerful nemesis.  I will kick the bucket~~~~”

I grabbed the collar of his suit to prevent myself from sliding down, foolishly laughing while facing him. Quite pleased with myself, I was admiring his stiff and cold handsome face, enjoying myself.

“Your dream is very interesting.”

As my temporary railing, this time the handsome, unexpectedly, didn’t pry my claws off, “I hope your dream will come true.”

I winked, “Just like you said, my dream really came true. Let me secretly tell you, my nemesis is a gay. He likes men…..men like you….a stunner.“

His face was deep like a water.

I shook my body. Bending my head, I said with a grief, „Laoniang[5] is completely helpless.“

Subsequently, I lifted my head. Wailing like at a funeral, I asked him, “Quickly, help me check if I’m crying?”

“You are crazy.” He coldly replied.

I stared at him with a perplexed expression, “Will you buy me a medicine?“

The beautiful man’s capricious eyes were fixed on me, “Maybe we should get acquainted with each other. I don’t have the habit of helping strangers.”

I grasped firmly my railing, carelessly waved the hand and loudly said, “There is no need. Besides, I have a habit of molesting strangers only. Once I become familiar with them, things will turn difficult.” 

The handsome was a bit annoyed. Suddenly, he pushed me away. He spoke in a low voice, “I’m the one who is crazy.”

He turned around and immediately went away.

“Hey, the person can walk away but the suit must stay.” Me who lost support almost fell down with a stumble.

He ignored me and continued striding.

“Hey.”

“Hey!”

He was still ignoring me.

“……..if you give me the suit, I will tell you my name.” I have amazingly betrayed myself when facing a beauty.

His backside paused then continued walking forward. It looked like he didn’t intend to stop, even for a moment.

Bored, I stroked my nose. All right, he absolutely didn’t take me seriously.

Tonight, it was the second time being disliked by someone. One was the old geezer and the other one was the young geezer. My usual respecting the old and cherishing the young creed has gone out of the window.

I leaned unsteadily against the wall. Inside the heart, I spurned flatly the beautiful man in the front.…. I lifted my hands and rubbed my bare arms, talking to myself, “I’m going to freeze….amazing, (burp), laoniang will borrow it from someone else.”

I dizzily turned my body, preparing to go find Ai Dong. This fellow had just recently graduated from the police academy. He was naively young and tender. Moreover, his mouth was very sweet, always a mouthful of ‘senior sister’. Old Tan has specially assigned him to come here to act as a waiter, to provide me a support. To say it pleasantly, it was to aid me with my job, to say it a little less pleasant, old Tan was just afraid I would get drunk and cause him troubles.

My head ached. I have been drunk only twice in my life – the first time I beat the person till he was hospitalized and the other time I molested someone which brought me into the police station as a result.

Alas, it was truly not my fault. The first one was too ugly and vulgar and the latter one too beautiful and gentle.

In the end I, Fang Liang Liang, am nothing more than a pitiful person who pursues beauty.

Dear me, today I am only disliked.

I walked staggeringly two steps. I sensed sounds of steady leather shoes behind my back. When I recovered from my bafflement, a suit carrying a body temperature assailed me. I instinctively caught it and then watched in a trance the arriving person.

He stood in front of me – in shirt and tie, properly attired and aloof. However, he could not cover up his seductive maturity and rakishness.

I measured him up.  He didn’t own a pair of annoying evildoer peach blossom eyes[6] as I have expected. His gaze was very cold and reserved.

He gloomily looked at me, slightly showing a trace of irritation, “Listen, you better tell me who you are. Surname as well as name.”

In the chilly night of spring,  I shivered a little. Geniuses adapt themselves to any circumstances. I put on myself the handsome’s suit. When I glimpsed the logo on his collar which represented extravagance I sighed in my heart. Good stuffs became spoilt when they arrived to my, Fang Liang Liang’s, hands.

My mood has clearly improved after putting on the suit. I smiled sweetly as I faced the beautiful man with wrinkled eyebrows, “My surname is Hu, name You Ni, You as outstanding, Ni as buddhist nun just adding a female letter character[8]. Everyone likes to call me Youni[7].”

Hu Youni (胡优妮), Hu Youni (忽悠你 I’m fooling you).

I flirtatiously poked my wig, “Mister, what’s your name?”

He said deadpanly, “Kang. Kang Zi Xian.”

“Kang,” I pondered over the name of this man, “It’s a pleasure to meet you mister Kang. But, can I ask you a question?”

He looked at me impatiently, but maintained his gentlemanly demeanor, “Miss Hu, please speak.”

“The thing is…..what kind of nickname did your family picked for you? Kang Kang[8] or Kang Zi? Oh, no no. It’s Xiao Kang Kang or Kang Zi? Oh, no no no. If you were called Xiao Kang Zi you would be too pitiful. It’s an eunuch’s name[9].”

After finishing babbling nonsense, this handsome Kang Zi Xian was practically staring at me with twisted eyebrows. It was like he was brewing an episode of rainstorms and flurries. Presumably, he has, once again, regarded me as a person from planet Pandora.

What a poor man, he surely must wish to send me back to my planet.

I heard a benevolent voice in my heart say: ‘Let go of this poor man. You should return to the spaceship to rest a little. The blow you have experienced today was too big.’

I am benevolent, after all. Since my name was the same as Mother Mary, I let him off. I fished in his suit pocket. Empty. Hence, I said, “Lend me it for a night to wear. Don’t worry, I will definitely return it to you. If you don’t believe…..”

I didn’t think too much. I bluntly tore down the wig on my head and almost rudely shoved it firmly into his hands. Looking at him being dumbstruck, with a boldness and confidence I said, “Take this and consider it as an interest, to avoid you saying that I am bullying you. Let’s meet tomorrow, at this time, at this place, with this as an exchange item. It’s a promise. Ok, let it be like this.”

The handsome didn’t know whether to laugh or cry while holding my wig. Like a statue, he coldly watched me. Before I left, I sincerely and with earnest wishes patted his shoulder and said, “Young man, in the future if you were to idle around, don’t make yourself look so beautiful. It would be dangerous for you going out.”

Then I patted my own chest and burped. The strong smell of alcohol made his eyebrows wrinkle even deeper, “Not everyone is like me, Hu….Youni.  I don’t rob money, neither do I go around sexually harassing people.“

„I will remember you.“ With eyes as deep as sea, Kang Zi Xian threw these fierce words my way while looking at me.

Eh, an empty threat.

He certainly didn’t know that I, Fang Liang Liang, was actually the best spokesperson of these words. It was because I often liked to use these words on people I wanted to beat up – even though I still haven’t beaten the majority of them.  At least it could intimidate. It’s well-tried. Apparently, there is no lack of kindred spirits.

It was just that a young lady like me wasn’t brought up by scare, just like that little girl singing in that song, not afraid not afraid[10].

I smiled heartlessly, “I will remember the stunner like you, too.”

He stared at me, probably hating me till his teeth tickled. I satisfyingly brushed past him, then suddenly remembered something. I turned my head and reminded, “Oh, sorry to trouble you but can you help me wash the wig? It stinks so much. If I had known earlier I wouldn’t buy cheep good.” His face turned black, so black it terrified people. I easily left, pretending that I didn’t hear the sound of gnashing teeth behind my back. I must admit, that after hearing that sound, my terrible mood miraculously turned for better. I actually wanted to whistle.

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Translator’s notes:

[1] Bow of meal is a Chinese slang for job

[2] Cai Huazei is lit. a flower thief , fig. rapist

[3] The MC meant talking but due to the alcohol she said telling

[4] Pandora is a fictional planet from movie Avatar

[5] Laoniang is lit. I, your mum, fig. I (used to refer to oneself as superior)

[6] Peach blossom eyes are a shape of the eyes that resemble peach blossom. The person who possesses these eyes have long eyelashes and the outer corners of this person’s eyes are slightly curved. The black and white of his/her eyes aren’t distictive. His/her gaze can bewilder and astonish people. [7] If we change pinyin (official phonetic system for transcribing the Mandarin) in her name then her name would literally mean “I am fooling you“ [8] The most common ways to nickname in China: repeat a syllable of the given name, adding modifiers to a person’s given name such as lao (old), xiao (little) or zi (child) [9] Many eunuchs’ names began with xiao and ended with zi [10] The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91yxk9m4IPw

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