Good Morning Miss Undercover Chapter 3

I wasn’t able to hang on anymore. I haven’t eaten anything for a day, just poured myself a big bottle of red wine. Now, I only wanted to find myself a bed and lie down, like a corpse. However, I was still working. So, I took a rest in the lobby and wrapped myself in a suit that was snatched away with a difficulty. The outcome was mama-san once again menacingly kicked the door open and came in. Seeing me sprawled like a pile of mud and covered by the smell of an alcohol, she had no other option as to leave while swearing.

“Useless thing. Did Laoniang spend money to invite you to sleep here? I have already told you. If you don’t have the ability then don’t eat this bowl of meal1. A hostess job is profiting but not everyone can make this money. Let me tell you, the customers here aren’t eating vegetarian food2. The boss Shen tonight was still among polite ones. If it was someone else, do you think it could be solved by a bottle of wine? They would have already stripped you and eaten you alive. Your mouth is still so stubborn. You are adamant, huh. Bah! You wench who is unable to tell good from bad. Next time don’t expect Laoniang to clean up the mess after you.”

Mama-san left. It was quiet and peaceful again. Covering the tummy with my hands, I continued to sleep. For the time being, I didn’t want to worry about what to do and how to get through the tomorrows.

Actually, I was not afraid that mama-san would fire me. Not long after, the fellow Ai Dong came. He immediately began flattering me. He said that my fooling people’s baby face and heart melting coquettish smile could actually earn me a place among top three most beautiful girls here. Finally, after exaggerated flatters, he said, “Senior sister, If you didn’t fight, I guarantee that with your good look and figure you would be a perfect courtesan material in the ancient times.“

Using my iron fists, I proved him that in ancient times I wasn’t only courtesan material but also material for a martial champion 3.

But thinking about it now, my face and fists were all for naught.  This time, I’m afraid, I was going to capsize.

In fact, after receiving this mission, I have already guessed what old Tan has got up his sleeve. He had hardly ever dispatched over elites of every department. It goes without saying the importance of this case.

This mission has already aroused the attention of those upper ones. They wanted us to find out in the shortest time possible the one behind the scene. But in such a big city, with bits and pieces of clues, wanting to ferret out someone hidden extremely deep was easier said than done.

I sensed that even veterans like old Tan was having a hard time.

However, his career didn’t allow him to let this kind of little accident happen. He had no other choice as to find a breakthrough.

And this place of entertainment where I was currently residing at was precisely that crucial breakthrough.

Two weeks ago, an Interpol agent who secretly followed trail of southeast Asia’s biggest underworld organisation – Haishen group, contacted this city’s police station. The Haishen group have spent lots of money to buy watermark to counterfeit money from Long Ge4. According to the informations from the informant, this watermark of Long Ge possessed the most advanced counterfeiting technology at the present. The deceiving ability of the counterfeited money has surpassed any other falsified money in the past. Even the most advanced technology for distinguishing authenticity of money would have trouble to discern the difference, not to mention mere human eyes.

You can envision, once these counterfeited money drifted into the domestic market, how nasty impact it would cause to social circulation and stability. The criminal gang of Haishen group who think of nothing else but personal gain, wanted to desperately obtain Long Ge’s watermark to earn a fortune.

It seems that Long Ge possessed several versions of watermark that still needed to be tested. They arranged the transaction for the next month in this city. As this became Haishen group’s deepest secret, even the informant didn’t know the concrete time and place. The only accurate information was that the key person, Long Ge, was hiding at some corner of A city, waiting for an opportunity to act. He waited for a perilous situation to set off.

Superiors gave us only three words: Ferret him out.

A difficult task.

But old Tan still managed to find key points among the scattered informations. There were three notable and well-known ‘Long Ge’ in our city, yet they were all somewhat linked to the criminal background. In order to keep a close watch over their every move, for to be on guard in advance, assigning people to spy on them became inevitable. And the man I have to get close to is precisely one of the three suspects – Deng Long.

The father of Deng Long was in the eighties a famous crime lord. Later, during the street riot, his right shoulder was chopped off by someone. The idea of withdrawing rose from that event. Sometimes in the late eighties and early nineties, he began distancing himself from the underworld.  He started doing not-legal-nor-illegal nightclub business. Nowadays, Deng Long who took over his father’s business was proudly known as an ‘young master Long’.  He was enjoying the empire his parents’ generation had conquered. Practically half of A city’s entertainment places were related to Deng family.

Although Deng family’s entertaintment industry was seemingly doing well, old Tan still suspected Deng Long secretly engaged in illegal business. The business deal between Haishen group and Long Ge went over 100 million, after all.

And the rich never minded being richer.

Hence, Deng Long became one of the targets.

I could understand why old Tan was staking it all on one throw. Currently, it was a period for electing a new leader. Thus, old Tan needed desperately an opportunity for an accomplishment. Otherwise, even the death won’t make him send me to get close to Deng Long.

Although I caused many troubled, it was only sensible that I became the most suitable person for this undercover mission since I had the beauty, agility and experiences.

In fact, old Tan’s heart was like a mirror. He knew that I was the most unsuitable one.

Because I had a personal grudge against Deng Long.

Honestly, Deng Long was quite wronged. I have never in my life got acquainted with him. In my former 24 years, we had practically never crossed each other’s path. It’s reasonable to say that other than him having some money, good appearance and that he easily made people feel unbalanced, I had no reason to hate him.

But who told him to have a father called Deng Xing Guang.

His father, Deng Xing Guang, the gang leader with hands bathed in blood, 25 years ago took the lead to fight and provoke a dispute. The final 20 people’s street fighting incident rose to 200 people of both involved parties’ street blood-bathing incident. And my father, Fang Kai, a young policeman who went there to provide assistance, was stabbed through carotid artery by a knife during the chaos. His blood spurt everywhere, his heart stopped beating before he was able to go to the surgery.

That day, the „8.13“ street fighting incident which had caused a sensation in the whole city, ended up with 3 people dead and several hundred people injured. The police sacrificed one person – and that person was my father.

That year, he was full of smiles as he just graduated from the police academy. Young and full of ideals, he got married with my mum and they created a small home. Two people, snuggled up to each other, laughing silly.  But Heaven likes to play games with people. His whole life forever stopped at that young and inexperienced smile of his 25 years, making people reminiscing.

As for me, a tiny embryo, that day I was hiding in mum’s womb absorbing nutritions and peacefully growing up. And even at the moment when my dad closed his eyes, he still didn’t know about my existence.

My mum said she had originally lighted the candles and prepared the food on that day, waiting for my dad to return home to tell him this happy news.

But what has ultimately awaited her was an ear-piercing ringtone and a soulless body covered with white cloth.

The owner of the body, just seven hours ago was still kissing my mum’s forehead, laughing like a still not grown up child.

After that, every seventeenth of August, my mum would pull out telephone wire, refusing answering all incoming calls.

The seventeenth of August’s ringtone was my mum’s nightmare.

I, Fang Liang Liang,  an yifunu5 who was born without a father, was born and grown up with pity of countless people. I have once imagined, if my dad was still alive, what would I say to him. Will I weep bitter tears or hold my knees and stare at him? However, whenever I imagined about it, there would be only his body collapsed on the pool of blood and desolate scene of his clothes soaked wet by it. Thinking about life being pulled out little by little from his young body, I would be sad, angry and also powerless.

My dad was innocent, yet, he died. And those guilty people were still alive. Living well. Whenever I thought of it, I would feel that life was so unfair. I was honored to be a daughter of the martyr.

But I believe their good days were coming to an end.

Because of this belief,  I have eventually chosen the same life path as my dad.  Our two’s, father and daughter’s, life perhaps embarked on some kind of cycle. However, I hope my life will be a little longer than my dad’s. From the bottom of my heart, I hoped I won’t end up like him.

I was wearing that suit while going home. Ai Dong secretly sent me home. As soon as I saw the bed, the next moment I immediately threw myself onto it like a corpse. When I woke up the next day, it was very late. At noon, the sun was very active. It was another cheerful sunny day.

The headache after hangover followed. I got up with a disheveled appearance only to find out I didn’t remove the make up at all. I was frightened by the smudged colors of the woman inside the mirror. I cried out in fear and quickly removed the ruined make up.

While doing a facial mask, I called Ai Dong. He answered the phone, “Senior sister, you got out of the bed?”

“Well, Dongzi. Next time when you send me home, don’t rush going back. Remove my make-up first .“

“Removing make up? Aiyo, my good senior sister, isn’t it equal to pulling out teeth out of the lion’s mouth? The danger rate is too high. I still want to live for another two years.”

“Oh, are you implying that I am a tigress?”

“Heheh, luckily, senior sister has the appearance of a little white rabbit.”

I was silent.

“Senior sister?”

Still silent.

“Are you listening, senior sister?”

“Ah, I am thinking about a certain matter.”

“Ah? About what matter?”

“To eat you steamed or roasted.”

“Ah? As expected, senior sister is a carnivore. Ha. To me it’s better being roasted. In a small fire. It would be tastier.”

I sighed. This fellow was very talkative. He prided himself for looking ren mo ren yang6. Usually he was even less serious than me. He liked to take a walk and buying luxury brands. He was a typical modern moon clan7.

I think that compared to Ai Dong, I was more suited to be a man.

I was reluctant to continue bickering with him so I sternly said, “Dongzi, things are becoming unfavorable.”

Dongzi over there also threw away his petty tone, he said, “Senior sister, let me guess what you want to say. I have also just found out that Deng guy is not into female charms. This is simply bad news. What do you think, should we tell it to boss?”

I hesitated for a moment, „Let it be for now. Let’s think about a way.” I changed to a little more comfortable position, “Haven’t you heard what the old chap said? You have to find a way even if you don’t have one. Otherwise, return with your head.”

Dongzi over there was silent, choking.

I was also silently frowning.

It was probably to ease our gloomy atmosphere, but Dongzi has again opened his annoying mouth, “Hey, hey, who do you think senior sister is? I believe that Deng guy will be able to penetrate through senior sister’s outward appearance of a lovely young girl and see your manly heart. Senior sister, you still can perfectly complete your mission.”

I spit on him. How could I not know that he was beating around the bush, scolding me. I didn’t get angry, instead, I said, “Dongzi, don’t count on your senior sister.  Your senior sister is merely a legend. Deng Long is not into female charms, but you Dongzi can be into man’s charms. If senior sister fails, aren’t you there, Dongzi?“

The noise voice over there disappeared. This fellow was frightened, “…..it’s unlikely. Right, senior sister? You have a large heart, you…..“

“Don’t, Dongzi. Senior sister is just a small person.”

“Senior sister, I was wrong, won’t it do?”

“Do you admit the mistake?”

“I admit the mistake.”

“Where did you make the mistake?”

“I was not respecting the old.”

 “(grunting)”

“Oh, no, no. I was not cherishing the young.”

“A little better.”

Today I was resting. Finally, I didn’t have to go to that hole that was piled up with money. I intended to properly take a rest, nurturing my stomach which was ravaged by the alcohol.

Tiding up the room, I aimed at black suit on the sofa. I frowned and, by a curious coincidence, took it, moved it close to the tip of my nose and sniffed it.

It didn’t have any odor. On the contrary, a faint nameless cologne floated in, lingering on the tip of my nose. It actually smelled good.

A man who uses cologne.

How peacockish.

Thinking like that, I threw away this suit as if to avoid the god of plague. Sulking, I clapped my hands, shouted loundly three times and began cleaning room.

No matter whether I was going back and forth, entering or exiting, every single time my line of sight would nonchalantly fall onto that eye-sore black suit on the sofa. Unexpectedly, a rare distraught rose inside my heart. I severely reprimanded myself for last night’s unreasonable scene. I was really looking for troubles. I made a call to Dongzi.

“Dongzi, before going to work tonight, come by to my house to do me a small favour.”

Dongzi took away the suit. I told him to return it to Kang guy if he saw him. If Kang guy began asking, he had to only say an unfamiliar female customer hurriedly gave it to him, not forgetting also about some tips. He was merely doing it on behalf of other people.

In addition, these two days Deng Long has been continuously receiving visitors inside his exclusive box. It was very secretive. Even mama-san wasn’t able to get in. I had Dongzi to look for opportunities to go in and explore. To find out which divinity he was meeting. It was easier than making a painstaking investigation to find a breakthrough.

I continued sleeping in the afternoon. For dinner, I ate the usual take out food. I ordered sweet and spicy shredded pork, improvising it together with a flavored roasted seaweed and a pickled cabbage to fill my stomach.

I couldn’t cook. In my youth when I intended to get Fu Chen, I have once wanted to wash my hands and make a soup to prove that I was also able to become a warm and virtuous house woman.

But the fact was that the things I made could only be used to poison people. Feige has once said that even animal like a pig who possesses a strong digestive system has to close its eyes if it wanted to eat the food I made. When it opens its eyes its cheeks would surely be covered with tears, believing that people fed it with DDVP8.

This comparison was very vicious. After Feige’s speech was over, someone reacted by raising hand and saying that the pig that has eaten Fang Liang Liang’s food was presumably contaminated. This pork absolutely musn’t get into people’s shopping basket, that it should be hurriedly buried.

I have wanted to deny it but reality surpassed all denials. The reality was that I was still that sloppy and advice-ignoring Fang Liang Liang. And the good man Fu Chen has already found his happiness elsewhere. Who would still remember me, the sad reminder of the past?

My small kitchen has long become overgrown grass. It has really grown grasses. Hems and breaches of cupboard and kitchen door have sprouted ugly white mushrooms because of the moist. Everytime I go through that kitchen full of dust, looking at that thriving tiny mushrooms on the kitchen door, I would repeatedly smile bitterly.

I would mock myself. There’s no woman who would make no advancement like Fang Liang Liang. My home was becoming like a mushroom.

Fu Cheng hated this part of me. Because I wasn’t obedient. I did what I wanted. He was very disappointed in me.

I became dispirited when I thought about Fu Cheng. This man with monolid was both the biggest pride and failure in my life. But we have already broken up. Even with a toe I was able to guess that as time flies I would be little by little erased from his heart. After some years, as he gets senile dementia, when others mention me maybe he would think that I was that thief who had stolen his wallet in the past.

He has once really called me a thief. That was our first Valentine’s day together. Under the Ferris wheel, he was laughing that I was a female thief who stole people’s hearts.

Time passed, I am a kind thief. I have sincerely returned back his heart. Handing it over to let my beloved cousin to steal.

Past events were like smoke.

Fortunately, my friendship with Feige would endure as long as the world lasts. Feige was my best friend. A woman. Full name – Jiang Gefei. She has hated this extremely awkward-sounding name since childhood. Feige was her nickname. My nickname was Liangge.

We two were the legendary tomboy duo. However, Feige was more pitiful than me. I had at least first love. Feige’s first love didn’t even reach to the market as no one wanted it. It became unsalable.

Feige was a volleyball player with a little reputation. She was tall and strong. She was extremely envious of my young girl like little face as well as my still could be regarded as curvaceous figure.

When I go out with her, the absolute majority of time we are crazily looking for clothes, shoes and pants in her size that would fit her. For this reason, I have specially given her for birthday a collection of fine porcelain cups9 to express my mourning for her giant stature.

For this reason, she went to Taobao10 maniacally looking for top poison, crane’s red-crown, to bestow me. In the end, the shop owner quite regretfully told her – the prescription of this stuff has been already missing for a millennium. Miss, if you want to effectively murder someone, you might as well purchase Three deer milk powder11. I guarantee what you are drinking is milk, but what will grow out will be a stone.

Feige truly placed an order and wanted to purchase. I suppose she was probably the last Chinese person on this earth to find out about Three deer poisoned milk powder accident. Nothing surprising since she has been confining herself to her training regime. Apart from competitions, there were only trainings. No wonder she was all brawn and no brains.

In the evening, I received a long-distance phone call from the USA. My mum was rumbling, mixing Chinese with English. Opening wide her foul mouth, she told me to not torment her so much. In this lifetime, my fate was receiving her corpse and not vice versa.  I knew she had sharp tongue but heart of tofu. Even when dreaming, she was afraid I would, like my dad, kick the bucket. Therefore, I obediently complied.

Following that, uncle Alan used his lousy Chinese to briefly express sympathy to me who failed in love. I laughed aloud saying that I was fine, that I was ‘a toad who wanted to eat a swan’s flesh12‘, doomed to be forever a female toad in the gutter. Uncle Alan  immediately exploded. He said, “Sweetheart, even I, the US toad, managed to marry this east old swan, your mother. Apparently, nowadays swans like to find toads as partners. God bless you.”

Although the old fellow didn’t understand the situation, my heart-felt warm inside. I put down the phone and went to sleep. As a result, I didn’t know I groggily slept till what time. The ringing of the mobile I used as an undercover agent woke me up.

It was an unfamiliar number. In addition, it was very persistent. I drowsily picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Is it Fang Liang Liang?”

“Yes. Who are you?”

“I have received the clothes. See you soon.”

I rubbed my eyes, yawned, “What clothes? Who are you?”

The man on the other side seemed familiar, he sounded very resonant.

“The man who was fooled by you.”

And then, with a bang, he hung the phone.

Listening to the sudden beep sound on the other side, holding the phone, I was thinking for ten seconds and then finally remembered who he was.

Maybe it was the woman’s intuition, but when I blinked my drowsy eyes, it was as if I saw a set of glowing cups added on my desk. Inside the cups was piping hot bitter water waiting for me to obediently drink it.


Translator’s notes:

[1] Bowl of meal is in Chinese a slang meaning job

[2] Eating vegetarian food is a Chinese slang meaning easy to mess with

[3] Martial champion 武状元(wu zhuan yuan) was in the ancient times top scorer in the martial palace examination

[4] Ge (哥) means older brother

[5] I didn’t find translation of 遗腹女 (yifunu) to English but it refers to a daughter who was born to a  married pregnant woman after death of her husband

[6] Ren Mo Re Yang refers to a person’s appearance in positive sense or to a person’s manner and attitude, which is not in accord with his identity

[7] Moonlight clan refers to people who spent out their salaries. These people are generally young people who don’t care about money but instead like to chase fashion, dress up and buying pretty clothes

[8] DDVP (dimethyl dichloro-vinyl phosphate) – organic phosphate used as insecticide

[9] Cup in Chinese is homonym to sorrow/grief

[10] Taobao is a Chinese website for online shopping similar to eBay and Amazon

[11] Three deer milk powder refers to 2008 PRC scandal involving milk powder adulterated with melamine

[12] A toad wanting to eat a swan’s flesh refers to a person with no self-knowledge, thinking only about obtaining things that were impossible to obtain


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